The Danny Bonaduce Show 03.10.10
Monk

5am – Getting to Clearwater for Spring Training

6am – New, Sports, and Phillies Pitcher Chad Durbin

7am – Mean Coaches, Danny Bonaduce: Life Coach, and The Art of Manliness

8am –Phillies Legend Mickey Morandini, Spanish Announcer Danny Martinez, and News

Click MORE for photos, videos and links from today’s show.

5:30 – The show is live from Phillies Spring Training, or as Danny likes to call it Phillies Spring Break. Danny, Sarah, and Metro are live from the Tiki bar at Brighthouse Field, which is very quiet this early in the morning. The flight down was annoying for Danny because the people sitting next to him had some food that was awful and made the flight agonizing. He did get a chance to go through the Sky Mall catalog. A tradition when flying for Mr. Bonaduce. He was a bit grumpy so when a pair of middle aged women started pestering him about who he is and what he did. Danny will answer questions about his past if people ask the right way. He’s not ‘that guy, from that show.’ All Danny wanted to do was order top secret sunglasses that can record conversations. There was also the fabulous gay flight attendant that had a feeling he would be flying with Danny in the near future. As long as they landed safely Danny is cool with flying with anyone. Metro realized that if there was a crash he’d just be one of the other people that died with Danny Bonaduce. Sarah sat next to a would be gangsta that wouldn’t shut up about all the smart guy stuff he was involved in, like PhD’s and trading gold. She is wearing sexy underwear today after yesterday’s granny panties. Roy Halladay and Kyle Kendrick might already be at the ballpark. Halladay shows up at 5:30 every morning to work out since the trade. Last night they went to a bar where Danny was approached by a drunk lady who was sweating profusely, asking for a cigarette and a place to sleep tonight. At one point that would have been Danny’s dream come true. John Brazer, Director of Fun and Games for the Phillies, is excited to take the show to his favorite breakfast spot in Clearwater. And the best burgers, and the best place to see the sunset. It’s John’s 17^th year with the team, he knows quite a bit about Clearwater.

6:00 – NEWS:

Police are investigating a shooting in North Philadelphia that left a man in critical condition. Police say the shooting happened at about 6:30 p.m. near the intersection of 23rd and Jefferson Streets in the city’s Brewerytown section. According to police, an unidentified male was rushed to an area hospital after being shot in the buttocks. The victim is reportedly listed in critical condition. Police are currently searching for the shooter. Investigators believe the shooter and victim may have known each other. There are some arteries in the tush, Danny’s not just making that stuff up. In some third world countries a stabbing below the beltline is considered assault and not attempted murder.

Federal Indictment charges have been raised against a Pennsylvania woman for using the Internet to recruit jihadist fighters and help terrorists overseas. Colleen R. LaRose, also known as “Fatima LaRose,” and “Jihad Jane,” has been charged with conspiracy to provide material support to terrorists, conspiracy to kill in a foreign country, making false statements to a government official and attempted identity theft. According to a press release by the Department of Justice, LaRose, an American citizen who lives in Montgomery, Pa., as well as five unindicted co-conspirators located in South Asia, Eastern Europe, Western Europe and the United States, recruited men on the Internet to wage violent jihad in South Asia and Europe, and recruited women on the Internet who had passports and the ability to travel to and around Europe in support of this violent jihad. Is there a non-violent jihad? This is treason, off with her head!

A former aide to John Edwards has been given until Friday to provide a judge with a full explanation of how he handled materials including a videotape purportedly showing the two-time presidential candidate in a sexual encounter. Andrew Young narrowly escaped jail time at a hearing Tuesday in the courtroom of Superior Court Judge Abraham Penn Jones, who on two occasions declared that Young would be incarcerated for contempt. But Young’s attorneys eventually convinced Jones to give them a few more days to provide a full accounting of how he handled various materials that Edwards mistress Rielle Hunter is seeking. Jones wants to know more about when Young had certain materials, who saw them and where they went. “My intent is for him to be truthful to the court and be thorough with the court,” Jones said. The FBI and CIA wouldn’t stand for a doctored tape, this has to be legit. Butch calls to say that he thinks that John Edwards is throwing money and power around to mess with Young. That wouldn’t surprise Danny.

A woman shaving her bikini area while driving caused a car accident in Florida. Troopers told the reporter that 37-year-old Megan Mariah Barnes was meeting her boyfriend in Key West and wanted to be properly groomed for the visit. So during the drive, she decided to shave. Her ex-husband, who was in the passenger’s seat, took the wheel while she focused on other areas, according to the report. The site also noted that Barnes was convicted of DUI and driving without a license the day before the crash. The vehicle she was driving struck another car from behind, causing minor injuries to the occupants. Danny nicks his face shaving in the mirror every day, what kind of disaster would it be if this woman was trimming her landing strip and wrecked? What kind of alimony does the ex-husband pay?

The man accused of attempting to extort $2 million from TV host David Letterman pleaded guilty in connection with the case on Tuesday. Robert “Joe” Halderman, a producer for “48 Hours Mystery,” was allegedly angry over an affair Letterman was having with his girlfriend, Stephanie Birkitt. Halderman, 51, pleaded guilty to second-degree attempted grand larceny, a class-D felony. A judge sentenced him to six months in prison, five years of probation, and 1,000 hours of community service. In state Supreme Court for New York County in Manhattan, Halderman read a statement apologizing to Letterman, his family, and Birkitt. Who’s the big loser in all of this? Letterman who had to apologize on national television and took a hit to his reputation or the producer who missed out on $2 million and a trip to jail? Sarah thinks it’s Letterman because of his marriage, but Danny counters that Letterman won because he took a huge jump in the ratings.

Conan O’Brien may seem like an unlikely fairy godmother – but he has made one Michigan woman’s dreams come true.  Two weeks ago, the late-night comedian decided to follow a stranger on Twitter. That person is 19-year-old Sarah Killen from Fowlerville. “I’ve decided to follow someone at random,” O’Brien tweeted. “She likes peanut butter and gummy dinosaurs.”  Killen hasn’t been the same since. “He’s changed my life,” she said. Most importantly, she can now have her fantasy wedding, thanks to all the attention O’Brien has drummed up for her. That’s bizarre. You can follow Danny at twitter.com/bonaduceshow

6:46 – SPORTS:

Roy Halladay pitched three shutout innings and struck out five in his second spring appearance as the Philadelphia Phillies downed the Atlanta Braves, 7-4, on Tuesday. Halladay was making his second start since being acquired from the Toronto Blue Jays during the offseason. Halladay went 17-10 with a 2.79 ERA for the Blue Jays last season. He said the results didn’t matter and that he’s just looking do build his stamina for the season. He’s pitched five innings this spring without allowing a run. Jayson Werth homered off Braves starter Kenshin Kawakami in the second inning and went 2 for 3. Danny is wearing a ‘Werth Rings My Bell’ shirt in hopes of getting it signed for his fiancee Amy, who has a huge crush on #28.

Simon Gagne’s power-play goal broke a third-period tie, and the Philadelphia Flyers rallied for a 3-2 win Tuesday night, their franchise-record 15th straight victory over the New York Islanders. Gagne’s goal finished off the Flyers’ comeback from a 2-0 deficit. His attempted pass to Mike Richards deflected off the stick of Islanders defenseman Mark Streit and past goalie Dwayne Roloson with 6:06 remaining. Jeff Carter and Claude Giroux also scored for the Flyers, who started their streak against the Islanders on Feb. 12, 2008. Philadelphia has outscored New York 51-25 during the run. Four of Philadelphia’s five wins over the Islanders this season have been by one goal. The Flyers will go for 16 straight on April 1 at Nassau Coliseum, in the final meeting of the season. The NHL record for consecutive wins for one team over another is held by the Boston Bruins, who beat the Ottawa Senators 17 straight times between Oct. 12, 1993 and Nov. 9, 1995. The Flyers have gone 7-3-1 in their last 11 games. The Islanders have won only three of 12. It’s time for the Islanders to quit the NHL.

Allen Iverson, who has officially parted ways with the 76ers for the rest of this season, issued a statement via his Twitter account late Monday night. He acknowledged “tough times.” Last week, news accounts indicated that his wife, Tawanna, had filed for divorce, and The Inquirer, citing sources, reported that Iverson was dealing with drinking and gambling problems. Around 11 p.m. Monday, Iverson’s Twitter account released this statement: “To my fans: You all know that my life isn’t perfect. I am going through some very tough times right now, like I am sure that we all do from time to time. However, I will stand tall like always with ‘rhino’ thick skin. Even though I have become used to hearing people say things about me that aren’t true, it still hurts. I encourage you to continue your ongoing support and I want you to trust that this is another obstacle in my life that, with God’s help I will overcome. God Bless You All.” This sounds like a denial at first, but at the end seems like he admits that he does have some major issues off the court.

6:42 – Phillies pitcher Chad Durbin sits down at the Tiki Bar to chat with the show. What are the days to days of Spring Training? Team activities in the early morning, then position drills in the afternoon. At 32 Durbin considers himself middle aged for a professional baseball player. What’s a slow speed for a fastball? Moyer throws one at 79 mph which is deceptive to the hitters. Two fastballs can be in the 90′s, but look different to hitters because of movement. Chad owns a website, showcaseu.com which allows high school kids to display their talents on the field and academics that will put an end to recruiting services that don’t always work out for the student athletes. Danny will be throwing out the first pitch at tomorrow’s Spring Training game, after throwing a worm burner a few years ago at a Rockies game in Denver and getting booed, Danny knows this one will go the distance, even if it’s nowhere near the catcher. Sarah wants a son so she can teach him how to throw a knuckleball, which is job security in baseball. Most knuckleballers learn to throw it because their other pitches fall off. Chad’s best pitch is a cutter. Is he willing to breed with Sarah so she can have the pitcher son she wants? Probably not. Danny asks Chad about Jayson Werth. He’s a great guy. That bums Danny about because Amy, his fiancée, has such a huge crush on Werth.

7:02 – Danny never played baseball as a kid, or any sport really, so he didn’t have many crazy coaches. He has had some insane bosses and karate instructors though. Metro had a coach that loved to do the cup check and called him Cecil for some reason. He also had a midget football coach that would make the kids run around until they passed out to make weight. Sarah played lacrosse, but was small for her age and switched to softball. She did notice that the coached played favorites and if a girl wasn’t a friend of the all-star pitcher, they didn’t’ get to play. Suddenly Danny feels like he missed out on something in his youth. Changing in the ladies locker room wasn’t a lot of fun for an underdeveloped Sarah. Suddenly Danny doesn’t think he missed out on all that much. If Danny has a choice between letting his daughter look like Lady Gaga or the torment of the locker room, he’ll take the Gaga option. Danny is riddled with fear about throwing out the ceremonial first pitch tomorrow. He just wants to make it look good. He offers up $1000 to a charity if he rolls it in.

7:30 – Danny Bonaduce: Life Coach

Bill recently got engaged to his girlfriend, but has a tough time getting through to her about saving money and budgeting. She relies on her parents to bail her out when they run into problems. She’s failing to grow up and get along in life. People don’t plan to fail, they fail to plan. Marrying someone irresponsible will be like an anchor around your neck. Give her a limited amount of time, give warnings, and if continues, break it off. Fall in love with your heart and your head.

Joe has court ordered child support payments taken out of his paychecks, now he’s on unemployment, what can he do about it? He can go to court to have his payments reduced, but the judge probably won’t lower the payments because it affects the children. The payments are based on what the child has grown accustomed to; it wasn’t the kid’s fault that Joe lost his job.

Frank’s got a guy at work that’s the boss’s pet, but isn’t a manager, and busts his stones one day and jokes around the next. The mood swings are dramatic and interrupt work. What can he do about it? If there are multiple coworkers that can back up an extreme change in mood then medical attention can be warranted and maybe the guy will be diagnosed some lithium for being bipolar.

Bob knows a local police officer that constantly asks his wife to pose nude for his hobby. She’s refused, but he asks constantly. The officer is nice, but it’s crossing the line. An easy way to get out of it is to say that the wife doesn’t like having her picture taken and gracefully decline. If the guy pesters after that then there is an issue and it’s time to go to the officer’s supervisor. Perhaps ask the officer for a family portrait and that will be enough.

7:54 – The Art of Manliness: How to Take One for the Team

On a night out you and your buddies you run into a pack of beautiful girls and their heinous blowpig friend. What do you do? Lean in and take it right in the helmet.

8:01 – Groundskeepers are grooming the grass at Brighthouse Field. Phillies legend Mickey Morandini steps up to the broadcast booth. Metro grew up watching Mickey, Mickey grew up watching Danny. Mickey will be a first base coach of today’s B game. It’s a seven-inning game that allows players that want to get more work in. What are his responsibilities? Yelling ‘run’ and ‘stop.’ He’ll also time pitches so they can calculate the best time to swipe second. It’s easier to steal on a guy who doesn’t throw a lot of fastballs. Spring Training is the time to let the guys lose to see who‘s going to get the green light during the season. With all the bars and seafood shacks in Clearwater, are players tempted to party it up in the preaseason? Not with all the work the players and coaches put in. Mickey played with Roy Halladay 10 years ago. Back then Roy was the hot new pitching prospect, now he’s an established Cy Young Award winner. Even with all his personal success on the mound, he’s hungry to win and has an incredible work ethic. Who would win in a fight between the ’93 Phils and the 2008 team? The ’93 team hands down. Dave Hollins is the beast of brawling on that team. What made that team special? They were out of shape, but played hard, going wire to wire in first place and a great World Series appearance.

8:32 – Danny Martinez, the Spanish voice of the Phillies joins the show now. He does play by play for the Phils in Spanish and gives us a little taste, putting Danny up to bat against Cole Hamels. Danny doesn’t know what Danny said, but it’s exciting! Muy bueno!

8:36 – NEWS:

State police swarmed three Philly bars last week, confiscating gallons of beer that the owners say they bought legally. State Rep. John Taylor says this was a “ridiculous use of manpower.”. More than a dozen state police officers raided three popular Philadelphia bars, all owned by Leigh Maida and Brendan Hartranft, seizing hundreds of bottle of expensive brews, as well as four kegs, on a “citizen’s complaint” tip that said nobody registered the names of the beers with the state Liquor Control Board. The beer in question, at Resurrection Ale House on Grays Ferry Avenue, Local 44 in West Philly, and the Memphis Taproom in Port Richmond, was bought legally from licensed Pennsylvania distributors with all of the necessary taxes included, according to Hartranft and Maida. Police allege that the beer was not registered by the brewers or importers, a state requirement in place since 1987 that includes a $75 fee for those manufacturers. It does seem like an abusive of manpower. Why is it that nobody raided the bars that Lindsay Lohan was at when she was underage?

An officer at a Kentucky jail was the victim of a unique assault last week.  Toni Tramel is accused of squirting breast milk in a female deputy’s face.  The Owensboro resident was arrested last Thursday for public intoxication. As she changed into an inmate uniform, Tramel hit a supervising deputy in the face with a stream of milk.  The 31-year-old is now facing an additional charge of third-degree assault on a police officer.  Her bail was set at 10-thousand-dollars. Danny knows guys that will pay extra for that! What about the child that she’s probably feeding? That needs to be investigated.

Lindsay Lohan filed a lawsuit Monday against financial giant E-Trade for its commercial about a “milkaholic” baby she claims is named for her — and wants $100 million for pain and suffering. The actress filed papers in Nassau County Supreme Court over the 30-second spot that opens with a boy baby apologizing to his girlfriend for not calling the night before. “That milkaholic Lindsay wasn’t over?” she asks. A lawyer for Lohan says she’s a one-name celeb just like Oprah or Madonna, and that the commercial is a “subliminal message.” A spokesman for the agency that created the ad said “Lindsay” happened to be the name “of someone on the account team.” Lindsay’s done enough damage to her own reputation that suing anyone is out of the question.